Beach Balls

In Beach Balls, Charlie Harrison wants the girl, Wendy. He's wanted her for years, which he reminds himself of every new beach season. The girl doesn't notice him in the way he wants. It's totally bogus cause she just wants to be friends. She's really hot for guys in rock bands.

Charlie has a few strikes against him.

1.He plays music, but he's not in the band.
2. His mom has a strict no rock and roll policy. Yes folks, she's like ultra religious.
3. Two crooks and their trashy girlfriend keep making trouble for him.
4. Wendy's brother wants to beat him up.

So, how does Charlie get the girl? If he does, how? What magic formula will he use to gain instant rock status? Well, the formula is there, it's called an 80's movie.

Best line ever:

"I just want to be friends," says Wendy
"I can't believe you just said the F word," answers Charlie, right after the revelation.

Beach Balls is full of unknown 80's synth movie music. The band plays soft core rock versions of songs you might hear from Poison or Motley Crew.


Beach Balls is rate R for...I'm totally not sure why.

Name this movie

"I swear on my mother's grave."
"Your mother is playing the back 9 at Bellaire."
"I was speaking in the future tense."

Think you got it?

Teen Wolf

Teen Wolf stars Michael J. Fox Family Ties, Back to the Future) as highschool spaz Scott Howard. Scott plays on the losing basketball team, is in love with super popular Pamela Wells (Lorie Griffin of Cheerleader Camp), and hangs out with ultra cool Rupert ‘Stiles’ Stilinski (Jerry Levine of Iron Eagle). Scott is slow to learn that his best friend Lisa ‘Boof’ Marconi (Susan Ursitti of Defense Play) has a crush on him.

Scott wants Pamela, the most popular girl in school. However, he has a problem; she doesn’t notice him. She has a totally jock boyfriend and knows that she is the bomb. What Scott needs is a way to stand out. How convenient that he is an heir to the family curse; turning into werewolves. Armed with a life changing transition, he finds himself big man on campus. He gets the girl, the basketball championship, and tons of respect.

Soon Scott learns that success, the girl and life as a top dog isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.  

Great lines include:

“I was hoping it (the werewolf curse) would pass you by”

“Well dad it didn’t pass me by. It landed on my face”

“Listen son. You're going to be able to do a lot of things the other guys aren't.”
“Oh yeah, like chase cars, and bite the mailman?”

Awesome sunglasses, 80’s jackets, vests and parachute pants bring Teen Wolf back to the best of times.

I give Teen Wolf 3.5 alligators for script, clothes and teen angst. The bogus soundtrack is a drawback.

Teen Wolf is rated PG

The Experts

1989’s The Experts is fun movie starring John Travolta (Grease, Perfect, Staying Alive, Two of a Kind) as Travis and Ayre Gross (House II, Tequila Sunrise)as Wendell. Travis and Wendell know how to party. In fact, they are certified night club experts. That’s exactly why KGB Agent Cameron Smith, played by Charles Martin Smith (Starman, Untouchables) kidnaps them and brings them to Russia.

Smith is in trouble. His bosses with the KGB are totally boaged that their plan to bring down the USA has gotten nowhere. Sure they’ve made progress by replicating a Midwestern small town; that’s righteous. However, the Russians citizens have never developed the community beyond the 1950’s, the only reference the closed country has to American life. In fact, many don’t even know they aren’t American; bogus. Smith is ordered to make changes or else.

Travis and Wendell are on their way to open a new nightclub. On the way Smith hires them and brings them to what they think is small town Nebraska. Unknown to the experts, they’ve been drugged and shipped across the world to a small Russian town. Their mission, to open a club and make the poodle skirt and rolled up jeans Teeny Boppers into totally awesome 80’s New Wavers .

Except for blockbuster John Travolta, it’s awesome that The Experts offers a great cast of moderately known actors.  Even Travolta’s future wife Kelly Preston (Secret Admirer, Space Camp) gets into the act.

No particularly 80’s music you would recognize in the movie, but they are definitely of the awesome decade. KGB and cold war references remind you that this is indeed of the times. Hair styles and clothing will bring you back to the carefree time of posing 80’s style.

This movie is rated PG for adult situations.